Chelsea v Liverpool.

It’s a new day, it’s a new dawn, it’s a new season. Let’s embrace it.

The closed season has been a funny old thing. Players moving here and there, some not moving at all. Are we looking forward to 9 months of toil? Hell yeah.

Today we match up against Chelsea ( I would call them Chavs but I’m far to professional to take the absolute piss out of the wankers on a match day thread, obviously) This might be a game of two halves, one being the first half and the other being the second half, though there might be a third half over two halves depending on added time in both halves. Are you following this?

Anyway as some of you know that’s followed me on Instagram n other weird stuff during the closed season you know I like to add a bit of history to the opposition we are playing.

chavs were formed in 2003 under the rule of roubles and other dodgy stuff. They cried and they cried in 2005 because we scored and they didn’t have enough money to tell the referee otherwise.

Chavs play in front of a full house most matches but 90% of them are plastic, unlike Cheats, they play in front of 95% plastics and the BlueShite don’t really play in front of anyone.

Back to the match.

We’ve played these Muppets a few times since they were born in 2003 with mixed results, that’s footy for ya, but today I think we’ll fook ’em like proper give them a damn good hiding. They do deserve a slap for simply being so damn Chavy, I’m sure you all agree.

Liverpool during this transfer window, apart from early July have proven to be totally inept in conducting business, which is proper annoying, to say the least. But hey Chavs have made us like god’s ( I made that bit up ) due to their stupid money laundering to buy players they can’t actually afford.

i suppose I’d better shut me cakehole now n let you enjoy the match, which we’ll win obviously.

Bring it on.

It’s a new season, a new beginning.

Lets win it for the hell of it.

WE ARE LIVERPOOL AND FOOK THE REST!